I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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