I wannas sexs uuuuu
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
operation harelip BJ is a go
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
