wat bout pragnant strippers??
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
