My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm bleeding and have questions
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
