apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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