I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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