somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
