btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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