Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
