If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
