i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize