This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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