I love black thongs
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize