he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
bring money and cleavage
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
