I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
