i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
