She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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