i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
