I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
