She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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