K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
