Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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