i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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