whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
