My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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