That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
