I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
