blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
