so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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