I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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