somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
