haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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