So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
