i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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