Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
