I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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