My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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