I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
