Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He passed out mid-signature
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
