He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
