It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
