my sisters under your porch take her home
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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