she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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