I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
