return my video game
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am one with the molecules
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
