Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize