Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
