I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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