but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
