Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
