you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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