Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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