So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
