I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
