we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
