so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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