$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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